I remember feeling nervous to tell my boss and team I was pregnant. Not that it was a big deal. People have children all the time. But I felt like it was going to be an awkward conversation so I didn’t want to have it. I decided to wait until my second trimester to tell my team. It was far enough in advance that they could prepare for my time off but not so early in the pregnancy that I was worried about the baby. Leading up to that time, I googled a lot to figure out how people normally lead these conversations. In the end, it was not a big deal and I didn’t need to have so much anxiety and stress over it. In case you are like me though, here are some pointers.

Talk with Your Boss First

It isn’t a hard and fast rule that you need to talk to your boss before sharing the news with the rest of your team. However, I would recommend doing so. First out of courtesy since they are your boss and may need to make arrangements for when you are gone. Secondly, this gives you the opportunity to learn more about your company’s parental leave policies ahead of time. The conversation with your boss and team can follow the same guidelines below. 

Set Clear Expectations Regarding Your Job

-Are you planning on coming back to work?

-Will you be sending your child to day care or will you be taking care of them when you get back?

The answers to these questions are important to address with your boss and team. You should be clear that your job is still important and that you will be returning after parental leave. It is also a good idea to let them know if you will be taking care of your child while working. If you’re on my page, I suspect you will be working from home with your kid. While it’s not necessarily your team’s right to know about your childcare situation, WFH with a kid does inevitably affect your work. It’s better to let them know early on so that the expectation is clear. 

Let Your Team Know When You Will Be Back

-What is the baby’s due date?

-Are you going to use the full allotment of parental leave?

My son came 5 weeks early so it was a bit of a surprise for my team when I left for my doctor’s appointment and then they got a text that I was in labor and would be starting maternity leave immediately. Not all pregnancies are like that, so it’s good to give your team a heads-up around when you will be taking leave. This helps you and your team prepare for your absence. I am not sure how other companies do maternity/parental leave, but my company offers maternity leave for birth mothers, parental leave for both birth mothers and other parents, and then unpaid FMLA on top of that. I wanted to take all of the available paid leave so I took advantage of the maternity and parental leave. Two weeks before my leave ended, I had the opportunity to work half days to ease me back into work. So, depending on your situation, the amount of time you are gone could vary. Because it can vary, it’s good to let your team know how long you will be gone.

Keep Open Communication with Your Boss/Team During Your Leave 

Things can change while on parental leave. Maybe you are ready to go back to work early so you can start using your brain again instead of just talking in baby talk. Maybe you need more time to heal or adjust. You don’t really know until you are going through it. This is why it is important to keep your team updated. I don’t mean texting them weekly updates. But as you get closer to the end of your leave, let them know your intentions.

It is important to talk to your boss and team about your upcoming parental leave. Not only is it an adjustment for you but it will be an adjustment for your team since you are gone. I decided to talk to my boss and team when I was 12 weeks into my pregnancy and then as it got closer to my due date, I reminded my team when I was planning to be off and for how long. This kept everyone well-informed and prepared for my absence. I’m glad I did it this way because even though my son came 5 weeks early, it wasn’t a big deal for my team. After all, we were prepared ahead of time. I also found that because I kept open communication with my boss about my intentions of coming back to work and how much leave I planned to take, he was very accommodating and willing to work with me. 

How did you let your work know about your upcoming parental leave?